Such a laidback place

Greetings from day 3 of the Israeli tour de Zetlin. Last night I had a fitful sleep, finally free of the clammy taste of jetlag’s smokers breath. Mum and I went out for a late supper, walking blindly around the streets in search of some local fare. It would have been easier had we had our eyes open, but….

Upon finding a nearby cafe/restaurant we ordered some quick meals and a couple of glasses of Israeli wine (the grapes are stomped on by hairless camels).

Asking for a doggy bag in my best hebrew and hoping to not get a dog in a bag, we headed back to Cocka’s, just in time to watch Jihad for Kids.

It’s a touching program full of laughs and drama, some small explosions and the loss of life. I found this clip of it on Youtube. No wonder the arabs hate the Jews…they got Mickey Mouse on their side!!! I knew Walt Disney was anti-semetic!

Today Cocka took mum and I for a tour. The apartment block she lives in has a small elevator. You make friends very quickly in these confined spaces.

We first drove to the Diaspora Museum at the University of Tel Aviv. I followed Cocka and mum in to the museum.

Then I followed them out of the museum.

The University campus appears to be a safe place, but the signs warning of falling bicycles had me looking to the skies in fear of a suicide cyclist.

At least Eli and I (spelling wrong!) had a mention on a plaque.

We then drove down to Hanamal – The Port. Here it is on a map -

More following of the mothers was done -

- as we found a nice outdoor restaurant next to the power plant and local airport.

The Port is a recently new development somewhat akin to any inner city wharf and/or industrial area conversion. Take St Kilda in Melbourne. Take Teneriffe in Brisbane. Take Alexandria in Sydney. The largely boardwalked waterfront has numerous cafes, retaurants, clothing stores and giftware outlets.

The view was of relaxed locals eating, drinking and basically being sexy Israelis on one side, and the vast Meditteranian Sea on the other.

A close up of the Meditteranian Sea. Amazing!

A local baker baking some hot bread.

The regular aircraft coming in to land overhead interrupted my ogling of blonde Israeli women with fake titties. Thankfully they didn’t land to short of the runway or we’d be eating our lunch in a cockpit.

I ordered an Israeli pale ale called Malka, or Queen. I hope it’s not seen as a sissy beer as smirks and gigles were seen and heard when it arrived on my table. Luckily for me being ignorant of the language is a HUGE help when it comes to not being too self conscious.

The tasty lunch was followed by a weak glass of coffee flavoured milk. Lesson learnt – Don’t ask for a latte in Israel, it’s for transvestites and arab prisoners.

The streets of Tel Aviv are seriously overpopulated by stray cats. I’ve never seen so many that are quite friendly and clean, yet exist in near biblical plague proportions. I’m sure in the Exodus from Egypt Moses forgot to mention Flaming Fireballs of Felines. At the restaurant were at least 4 cats slinking around my legs eager for some rocket salad with eggplant. Strange animals.

Don’t show fear or get your tonsils removed through your ass

I’m sure these outdoor dining and drinking areas go off at night. Looks great.

This photo is for cousin Jake.

Each Russian immigrant over the age of 60 is given a 24 speed mountain bike for getting around.

I forgot to tell you, the morning we arrived in Tel Aviv there was an air raid siren drill. Luckily I was fortold of this as I’d probably have wet my knickers. Thankfully each apartment block has its own bomb shelter complete with 3 nymphomaniacs per Australian tourist.

Me making a dash for the bomb shelter. Who put the fucking lock on the door???

I am catching up with a friend of Ryders tonight. His name is Amir and he is rescuing me from my mother and the possibility of seeing another museum!

Elahn.