This is really cool. The video I made about hummus in Israel last year (link to the video) has been noted by www.hummus101.com, THE best site dealing with hummus and other tasty chickpea dishes. Big thanks to them for the appreciation.

Apparently though what I thought was just THE best hummus in the world may turn out to actually be a dish called Msabbha (click to read more about this great dish as well as the recipe). It’s very close to hummus in look, but in taste it is closer to heaven than hummus is.

Link to the article about my video – www.hummus101.com

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A remix I cut together of Lindy Waldeck’s mama singing Milkshake. All the sounds you hear were taken from video recordings Lindy did on her Mac using Photo Booth. There are no added sounds. Notice that it helps to be slightly pissed while singing. Enjoy.

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I just won the UK Lotto sweepstakes! 1,000,000 pounds! Oh… hang on! No I haven’t! I never have…never will. Neither will you or your dad or that annoying guy who works at the local 7-11. You see it’s another scam to get your personal details which will allow the crook access to possibly your bank account, identity, credit card and maybe your wardrobe safe where you keep your priceless art collection.

So how do I deal with these emails? Keep reading.

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The email from them-

Dear Sir/Madam,

This mail is to bring to your notice that your email emerged as one of our winning email address in our last lotto sweepstakes programme that made you automatically a winner of the sum of 1,000,000.00(G.B.P).

In order to claim your prize from the lottery board, you are required to fill out the claim’s processing form and send it to our claims officer here in the UK with the details below:

Name Of Claims Officer:Mr George Hills
Email address: hillsg14@gmail.com

Below is the claims form you are required to fill:

PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM

1.FULL NAMES:
2.ADDRESS:
3.SEX:
4.AGE:
5.MARITAL STATUS:
6.OCCUPATION
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:
8. COUNTRY:

Sincerely,
Maria Phillips
Online Coordinator

Reply from me—

 Dear Maria,
My wife and I are extremely overjoyed at this news and can’t believe how wonderful this is. You are an angel.
To think what this money will do for us. Especially now that my dear wife of 48 years, Margaret, who has been suffering extreme rectum cancer for the last 3 years, can get the expensive medication she needs in order to live.
Only last month we had to put the family home on the market in order to pay for the painful anal suppository treatments that prevent the cancer from eating her intestines. Sadly, she’s lost all bowel control and occasionally excretes foul green feces in our bed. As we cannot afford a fulltime stay at home nurse, I’ve been having to take care of her as well as clean the bedsheets on a daily basis. I am handicapped and have to get around in a wheelchair, so you can see our lives will be a little easier now we have won this huge amount of money.

At this stage we are in the process of moving to our sons home while our house is being sold. We all live in the same fortified compound, but as we don’t recognise the country’s legal and tax system we also don’t really have an address, due to the federal government’s injunction on land squatting rights. Only last week did satan’s army of so called FBI agents try to ambush our chosen paradise, shooting and killing our dear leaders 7th wife, Hillary. Luckily it started raining feircely, a sign that the holy father of Neptune Vega Ohmm is watching and taking good care of us all. He brought you to us with this wonderful prize… an amount that will not only help my wife live, but will also go towards the purchase of guns, grenades, rocket launchers and mines to keep the whole herem safe.

If we were to set up an escrow account, say Pay Pal, for you to deposit our winnings into, that would be great. Do this then send me a confirmation email and I will ask for your name to be dedicated to the new fallout shelter being built against the imminent judgement day and arrival of the mothership to take us all home.

Love and Ohm Bah Lro73Kaa.

David Mootka.

…………

I’m still waiting for a reply.

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Scam emails are all the fashion these days. Most of them claim to be from an African girl who was left some millions of dollars from her recently deceased aunt or uncle who died brutally at the hands of the local militia and would like your assistance in getting the money out of her war torn country. You! Yes, you! You have been chosen amongst millions of people. Why you? Why not? After all, you don’t know this person at all and have never talked on the phone, let alone sent naughty text messages to each other late at night.

I recently received the following email and couldn’t help but have some fun with it… what we in the industry call Scam Baiting. That is, dragging the scammer in to a long, drawn out exchange of emails and other such trivialities all for the sake of wasting their time and allowing you to have some fun along the way.

Here is the original email -

Dearest

I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. My name is Atem Deng Ajak , 24yrs old, female and I held from South Sudan. My father Lt. Gen. Deng Ajak Atak was the former SPLA military hero and anti-genoicde/anti-slavery activist of South Sudan for Decentralization. My father Lt. Gen. Deng Ajak Atak  and my mother including other top Military officers and top Government officials had been on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008. You can read more about the crash and my late father through the below site http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7380412.stm andhttp://doorofkush.50megs.com/about_1.html

After the burial of my father, my uncle conspired and sold my father’s properties to one Chinease Expatriate and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father’s briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I traveled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. On my arrival, the Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my father’s instruction to the bank was the money be release to me only when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas. I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle have threaten to assassinate me.

The amount is $8.5Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso. You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country.However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till I come over because I am affraid of my weaked uncle who has threatened to kill me.

Sincerely yours,

Atem Deng.

Here is my reply -

Dear Atem,

My eyes have filled with tears reading your email of sorrow. I have never thought such grief could come to my fellow earthlings. I hug and kiss you.

When I told my partner Gary of your plight he had to take the strap-on sexual device out of my anus to contemplate my words to him. The ball-gag muffled his speech but I could still understand what he was saying. A 14 year relationship based on trust, respect and waxed bodies does that.

But I digress.

You poor thing. What a terrible existence you have. I once visited an African leper colony while doing a round of gun running for the Nigerian rebels of Titty Pooh. While it was a welcome change of scenery from the hitherto heterosexual world of illegal operations pushing weapons across borders without a tasty backside in sight (except for little Waki, or Susan as I liked to call him, my Sherpa extraordinaire).

At the colony, while I was hiding from my angry team of killer rebels who didn’t like being complimented on their calf muscles, I saw such hideous examples of human beings I wept for a week, snug in the arms of Susan, my only comfort from the cruel world.

After leaving the colony and getting a safe passage with a camel herder, his 4 wives and 12 daughters, I accidentally blew my legs off while stepping on a land mine as we crossed the heavily guarded border to the north.

6 weeks in an awful hospital and doped up to the fucking eyeballs on morphine and a mixture of camel spit and fermented dog turd I was put on a US navel helicopter for the safer shores of Spain.

Oh dear… I do waffle! Here I am telling you about my problems and I’ve totally forgotten about you, dear Atem.

Is it ok if I call you Hillary? My great grandmother was named Hillary. She was a wonder with a spatula, some eggs, brown sugar and a chem lab full of speed. We would stay up all night mixing the speed mixture, testing it out on her rabbits, telling stories of her life and when she would offer her virgina for money during the internet crash of ‘99. Some nights she would ask me to rub her bunions. Oh how I loved getting out the file and scraping off the dead skin on her feet.

Dear Hillary (that’s you), what is it I can do for you? Please tell me. Oh, can you send me a photo of you so I can put it on my bedside table and when I pray to our lord Tom Cruise I can ask for him and Madonna to watch over you and perhaps try a charity drive to raise money for your cause.

Do you play a musical instrument? I don’t, but I wish I knew the banjo. Love that twang twang sound it makes. I’d love for you to send me some music of you singing and playing your local instrument. Drums I’m guessing…maybe just shrieking out loud at passing cows.

Keep safe and warm and write to me.

Baruch Hashem.

Elahn.

After waiting a few days and thinking I’d never hear back from her, here is the email she sent me -

My Dear Elahn,

Many thanks for your quick response. I need your help to stand as my trustee for transferring the money to your bank acount for investment project.  As I told you in my earlier mail, I am staying in the mission and I haven’t a personal telephone to be reached but if you wish to hear my sweet voice, you can reach me through the office telephone number of the Mission co-ordinator office. His name is Father Silas and his office telephone number is +22678665273. If you call tell him that you want to speak with Atem Deng Ajak Atak am staying in Block 17C female hostel.

The reason while I ask you to contact the bank as my trustee is because I have contacted the bank on my arrival to clear the money but the branch manager of the bank whom I met in person told me that my status as a refugee does not authorize me to transfer the money. He advised me to seek for some one who will represent me and transfer the money into his or her bank account. I wanted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but am afriad that she will not release the money to me after clearing the money because after the death of my parent she and my uncle arrange seceretly and sold my father’s estate in Monaco. They shared the money among themselves and when I confronted them my uncle told me that the tradition and custom of our land does not entitle me to share assets of my father as a single young girl. Ever then they have been maltreating me and even made arrangement to assassinate me because of the demand for my share of the money from the sales of the hotel.I want you to help me because you are God sent and you will never regret for helping me.

Please send me your full contact information which include:

Your full name:
Contact address:
Telephone numbers to be reached:
Your age:
Your Occupation:
Marital Status:
Your Nationality
Your photos to see you:

As soon as I receive the above information,  I will give you the contact of the bank were my father deposited the money. And you will contact the bank as my trustee and ask them to transfer the money into your bank accountfor investment project. After you receive the money in your bank account you will send some amount to me to process my traveling documents which I will use to come and settle in your country and further my academic studies.

Thanks a lot in anticipation of your quick reply.  Below are my detail and photos.

Yours truly,
Atem .

My full name: Atem Deng Ajak Atak
Contact address: Female Block C17, Bethel Mission, 09 BP 5251101 Ouahigouya 09, Burkina Faso.
Telephone numbers to be reached: (+226) 78665273 It is the mission ofiice telephone incase if you call tell tell Father Silas you want to speak with me.
My age: 24
Occupation: Student
Marital Status: Single
My Nationality: Sudanese

Wow! She’s hot! How can I let this babe down? After all, she’s a sexy mother who knows how to wear a denim skirt!

Not one to give up I sent another email -

Ah Shalom Atem,
What a surprise when this morning I saw an email from you! And photos!! My jaw dropped to the floor. You are a very beautiful and sexy lady. I have printing the photos and put them into some very lovely frames. See the one I’ve attached to this email. It is a good photo. Did your daddy take it of you? You pose very well. You should do some modeling. Although you may need to go on a diet first. No one likes a chubby on the catwalk.

I have a bad headache this morning. May have been the Amyl Nitrate I was sniffing during last night’s orgy and vomit session. I’m new to it all but I’m assured after a few more times I’ll be able to handle the erotic piss and crap on my face while I orgasm. We are very open and free loving here in my native village in Alaska.
Ever since my family of Inuits (Eskimo in the old language) got relocated from our primitive ice huts on the tundra where we hunted seals and lost tourist hikers and moved to the camping section of the city WalMart we’ve experienced great joy as well as sorrow. The government pays us all unemployment benefits, which is just enough for basic food (aisle 4), some new season clothing (aisle 7), and the ocassional treat (dog food aisle 12).
When can you come visit me? My son Whodeani would love to meet you. He saw your photo and thinks you could be his girlfriend. He is mentally retarded and drools a lot but he has a big heart and loves to hug and kiss his sister Lindy, getting slobber all over her while she screams with delight.
Could you do me a favour? Could you send me a photo of you holding a sign that reads “I love Whodeani”.
This would mean so much to us here in the camping section. I have spoken to the chief elder about your plight and we are looking at selling some folding chairs and BBQ tools at half price to raise some money to open a bank account so we can help you out.
I’ve also attached a photo of little Whodeani. He is half Eskimo, half Vinyl.

So I wait for your photo and I hope by then the account will be open and we can transfer your funds. My alcoholic step father is very happy to have some extra money come in.

Hugs and kisses… Roger.

Well… Let’s see them respond to that!

..

..

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And sure enough they did -

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I am still on the floor crying with laughter!

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This is very funny.

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I really have been in two minds about Twitter. On one hand here is a new service that reminds me of facebook status updates but announced to anyone who cares to listen, and on the other hand a new craze that everyone I know is getting onto and putting up posts about their every mundane movement. In recent months the number of users has climbed dramatically and C-lebritites like Oprah and Ashton Kutcher got on board and made an issue of getting the most follows. In Ashton’s case he got to a million first, beating CNN. So now we can not only read about Ashton in gossip mags but now we can read every little mundane detail of Ashton’s life (woke up, kissed Demi good morning, ate egss for breakfast, killed myself…) on twitter… in 140 characters or less. Wow..thrilling.

I’ve given twitter a go, I really have and even put updates from it on my blog. I got on the bandwagon of getting as many followers as possible only to find that most who connected where actually network marketers keen on my purchasing a system that would show me how to get more followers. 9 times out of 10 this was who was following me. Their tweets were nothing interesting or personal, it was all automated crap. What was this desire from myself or indeed anyone else to know what total strangers were up to or why I would want to share my life with them?

Twitter can be useful if you have a business and/or product you want others to know about. This I can agree on. I’ve been using it to promote jokes.com.au and a new startup I’m working on with good coffee as the focus. Getting followers in this manner makes more sense because I really don’t want to have to spend 3 hours a day reading about other people’s crap. If I have something to tell 500, 1000 or even 10,000 people then this would be a great way to do it. For example – jokes.com.au post a new video clip that is sure to tickle your funny bone, then I can post a link on twitter and hope that my followers come have a look. They may even re-tweet it so their foll0wers come have a look. This sort of advertising is fantastic and I may as well make use of this craze while it lasts. Traditional ways of getting your message out there is slower and can cost money.

Twitter is being used smartly by news outlets. A journalist friend from the ABC posted updates from the recent Queensland election campaign trail. This sort of use is clever and is happening now. Twitter is also good for finding out about current trends, or what people are mostly talking about on the service. Realtime results are shown. For example, when the earthquake hit Melbourne recently people were tweeting about it well before any news announcements were made. The same has happened overseas. Feedback from television programs are also a useful tool. Gretel Colleen’s hosting of the Logies was flamed big time via twitter, valuable insight into how the audience is thinking.

But for me as a person, an individual that I am, I can’t see how what I could say about myself would be of any real interest to anyone else besides my friends and family. And isn’t that what facebook is for? And to be honest I’m getting bored of facebook also and the constant stream of stupid messages asking me to add family members to my family tree, to smile back at someone that has sent me a virtual smile or to join a group to support fallen football personalities. Delete, delete, delete.

Am I getting old and grumpy about all this or are their others of you out there who would prefer to revert to more traditional ways of communication? Social networking is good but only if it provides us with ways of doing things face to face and not just over the net and from a distance. I really don’t want to add people I haven’t seen for 20 years if they are only going to put me up on a shelf and never get in touch with. It doesn’t make sense.

If I was to cancel my facebook account tomorrow I don’t think I would die or lose touch with my circle of real friends. I’d still know when someone was having a birthday party (they would email or call me, or even post a written invite) or cared about me (they would tell me, or give me a hug and kiss in person) or had photos with me in it (they could again email me or even print them off like in the old days) or share a link to something of interest (der…email again).

How long would I last without it? Could I get over the withdrawls? Only one way to know….

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Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It can show us how we went right and how we went wrong. It can say I told you so as well as letting us in on the human condition that is mass hysteria. Take swine flu. The international media has had a ball with this one, and as Media Watch on the ABC this week showed, everyone was on the bandwagon.

See the story here via ABC’s MediaWatch website.

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The “Fail Whale” is the graphic of a whale held up by a flock of birds illustrated by Yiying Lu (@yiyinglu on twitter)

It is employed during periods of downtime by the social networking service Twitter.com, which allows users to submit and share brief messages known colloquially as “tweets.” When Twitter gets overloaded, users see the “Fail Whale” error message.

See more here – http://www.whatisfailwhale.info/

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Spring cleaning…. my head!

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Oh no dear god all mighty above us and all around the newsroom NO!!!!!
Automation jitters have spread to the Sydney ABC newsroom and again we see the lack of staff training and.. well, let’s face it…machines taking over and replacing what humans have done fine with for ages. The ABC is slowly being eaten away by budget cut cancer, low morale, journalists editing their own stories (as well as finding the stories, producing them, writing them, etc etc…

Here is a segment from this weeks Media Watch revealing to us as much as we knew it was going to happen (hold tight Brisbane) the evil that lurks within the machine! Not a fucking ghost but a demon spirit called Ignite.

Link – From the Media Watch website.

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